Google released a guide to teens — who suspiciously love Google

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Google’s Marketing and Digital Research arm recently released a study on Generation Z (anyone born after 1993) titled It’s Lit: A Definitive Guide to What Teens Think Is Cool. The title alone should immediately remind you of that Steve Buscemi GIF, but the entire document contains little nuggets of painfully sincere guidance for those who, when confronted with a teen, tilt their head to one side, scratch some dandruff from their scalp, and let out a loud, adult-ish “Huh?”

Below are six things I learned from the academic paper colloquially known as It’s Lit.

1. “Teens feel something is cool if it’s unique, impressive, interesting, amazing or awesome.”

The study opens strong with a number of synonyms for “cool.” Unfortunately, it is written without the Oxford comma, and it’s widely known there’s nothing cooler to teens than grammatical clarity.

2. Teens think Doritos are cooler than Vice and Whatsapp.

When asked to rank brands by coolness, teens ranked Vice, Line, and Sunglass Hut near the bottom, each with fewer than 5 coolness points out of 9. Google, YouTube, Netflix, and Doritos ranked the highest.